Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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