He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
