Banned from zoo.
Again?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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