nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Send help, water and tortillas.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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