I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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