I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
