is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize