He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
