She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
