Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize