and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
