Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
