I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
