Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize