It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He shit in the fireplace
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