dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I smell stomach acid.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
