She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
