is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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