She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
