Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
