I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
