So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
