Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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