We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just blew my weed a kiss
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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