yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
