Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
