I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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