I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
