No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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