hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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