escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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