why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
