Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
