we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
