Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
