butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
