You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
