Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
