There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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