There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
