i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
