I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
