on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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