my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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