i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
