i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
