his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
