i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
