This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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