Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
