I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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