Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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