Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
