I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
