I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize