and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
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