It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
