im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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