I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
foreskin is a definite game changer
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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