Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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