PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
