i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
