Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
