Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
