She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize