'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
