we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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