no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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