people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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