oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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